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In fact, I've never come even remotely close to playing make-believe in the bedroom. It's challenging enough to feel comfortable being yourself during sex, let alone someone else. All these anxieties have kept me from giving it a try, until now.
There's never been a safer time to confront my fears.
What if your partner thinks that you need him to take on a different persona in order to get turned on or that your wandering mind means you have a wandering eye too?
Well, Kerner has a trick for that—bring up your fantasy as a compliment.
C., says, "I actually think it's really hot to lie in bed and talk about fantasies and turn-ons," she says.Let your partner know your limits, and establish a safe word that'll bring the action to a halt the second you're uncomfortable. Set the Scene A wardrobe change isn't mandatory for role-playing, but it can definitely add to the fun.For some women, a wig—going from brunette to blonde or from straight to curly—can really help you get into the idea of a new identity, says Kerner. You probably won't be able to transform your bedroom completely into a classroom for a hot-for-teacher scenario, but wheeling in a chalkboard or desk will go a long way. likes to wear classic lingerie and high heels to get into a 1950s housewife role."But another thing my boyfriend and I have done is e-mail fantasies back and forth—I send him one, he sends me one.We don't see each other every day, and doing that builds excitement and is basically e-mail foreplay for our next visit." Believe it or not, they have a shared Google Docs spreadsheet that details all the scenarios they want to try.