Rating dating complex
people who live on the margins - whether we're talking about single women or queer couples - are accused of living irresponsible and/or immoral lives, and are often characterized as having made a 'choice' not to grow up...
What I wasn't able to articulate until I was older and found feminism was that it wasn't the 'get married' part that bothered me, but the assumption that the only path for a young woman is to one day be a wife and mother.
While her rhetoric is largely inclusive, there's little discussion of the effect these narratives have on queers that could not have been included as a footnote.
The result is an (unintentional) recreation of the erasure of queer desire present in the narrative she's opposing.
Romance and love are in a state of crisis: Statistically speaking, young women today are living romantic lives of all kindsbut they re still feeling bogged down by social, cultural, economic, and familial pressures to love in a certain way.
Young women in the modern world have greater flexibility than ever when it comes to who we choose to love and how we choose to love th Romance and love are in a state of crisis: Statistically speaking, young women today are living romantic lives of all kindsbut they re still feeling bogged down by social, cultural, economic, and familial pressures to love in a certain way.
This politically motivated and culturally mandated necessity is a manipulation of our dreams and self-realization, especially as women living on the borderlands of gender, race, class, ethnicity, ability, and sexuality in the service of a romantic narrative that we didn't create for ourselves."I give this book four stars instead of five for two reasons.
First, by the end of Outdated I felt that the book lacked a central thesis.
In Outdated, Samhita Mukhopadhyay addresses the difficulty of negotiating loving relationships within the borderlands of race, culture, class, and sexualityand of holding true to our convictions and maintaining our independence while we do it.Conflating our self-esteem with our relationship status is a very powerful and effective way to keep women feeling bad about themselves.I mean, if being alone means you are essentially a social pariah, an outcast, a feminist, and potentially ugly and unlovable, you are not going to be seeing young women lining up for the role."In addition to encouraging women to love themselves outside of the context of romantic relationships, Mukhopadhyay sheds light on several other sexist practices within dating.It felt more like one really long blog entry, especially with the citing of Facebook and Twitter as sources (to be fair that only happened occasionally, and there was also referencing of actual books).I think the formatting of the book also lent it its air of superficiality, with the huge margins etc.
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It read like a bunch of great points about dating and romance and feminism but I felt unsure of the main message.