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After all, he may have purchased the shirt at the band’s concert, or he may have just stolen his brother’s favorite hoodie. On a super-sunny afternoon after a morning of monsoon rain, all anyone wants to talk about is the drastic weather change, making for a perfect opening line.

ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

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Everyone’s eyes are stuck to their i Phones when they’re in public and it’s becoming a trend to avoid all eye contact in general, which means that even the most confident ladies have a hard time walking up to a stranger and making a conversation out of thin air. This one can tend to feel a little forward, but managing to casually brush past a guy, then turning around to excuse yourself and make eye contact basically does the work for you. Dogs are the easiest conversation starters in the book.

Any man you ask will tell you that eye contact, a smile, and confidence are the surefire ingredients to get him interested, but sometimes we just need a little help to get things going. Whether it’s for a new album to listen to or which bar has the best happy hour deal in town, asking for a recommendation from a guy is an opener that can easily evolve into more of a conversation. The space you’re in when you’re talking is immediately something you have in common. Pay attention to your surroundings and go from there. Most of the time, if you smile when you look back, he’ll take the conversation from there. If you’re in the park one day and spot a guy you just need to talk with, head over and start asking questions about how long he’s had the dog and what breed it is. When you meet a random guy at a friend’s housewarming party, the best opener is simply asking how he knows the host. It’s becoming more and more rare to spot guys without tattoos these days, which makes opening up a conversation incredibly easy. All too often, people have entire conversations before they even mention their names.

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How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.

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