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More times than not, going after your buddy’s ex is off limits and fully violates any type of guy code by which you might abide.

But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place – maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead.

Of course, seeing your ex with a friend could be hurtful at first.

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While it’s best to approach your friend for a discussion prior to making a move or pursuing a relationship, Kelman suggests that you don’t need to get permission from your friend, either.

Dating expert Hannah Dela Cruz says, “Relationships, both romantic and platonic are valuable to maintain, but we have to remember that we don’t own our ex’s.

Before you go any further, you first need to ask yourself if this person, your friend’s ex, is really worth your friendship, because that’s a risk you’ll be taking, Lisa Daily, bestselling author of , says that if you’re going to go for it, be prepared to deal with feelings of betrayal or anger.

“The more you can deal with and be upfront with all the web of emotions,” Luiz says, “the more your friendship has a chance of not only surviving but deepening.” Beginning the discussion with your friend might be scary, at first.

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  1. According to research conducted at Michigan State University, relationships that start out online are 28% more likely to break down in their first year than relationships where the couples first met face-to-face. Couples who met online are nearly three times as likely to get divorced as couples that met face-to-face. While the overwhelming majority of romantic relationships still begin offline, around 5% of Americans who are currently in either a committed relationship or marriage indicate that they met their significant other online.

  2. Alternatively, join in the public or private chat rooms where you can talk to strangers about a range of topics using online video chat.